Bits and Pieces
by Chronopie
Summary: My own personal fragments thread. Feel free to adopt and adapt anything you see inside.
1. Chapter 1 - Fragments

This file is just like so many others out there: A compilation of bits of pieces that don't have a full story behind, free to a good home.

Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own anything you recognise, any OCs are mine.

* * *

_Idea #1: If Harry had asked exactly why he had to go back to the Dursleys. Also; the old Fanon cliche._

"Blood wards? So you mean to tell me that there's nothing at all stopping Riddle himself strolling up to the Dursley's front door?"

"Whatever do you mean, Harry?" Dumbledore's ever-twinkling eyes lost some of their luster.

"March '95. Bone of the father, flesh of the servant, and, listen closely, blood of the enemy."\

* * *

_Idea #2, much like the first; Why Petunia can be a giraffe-necked, whey-faced, dark haired woman, while Lily is a fiery redhead._

"Blood wards? What blood?"

"Whatever do you mean, Harry?" Dumbledore's ever-twinkling eyes lost some of their luster.

"Have you even seen a picture of my mother next to Petunia? Or a family portrait? They look nothing alike. Mum was adopted."

* * *

_Idea #3: Well, he was the Dark Lord's equal._

What most people seem to forget is that you need a _Reason_ to go dark. What motivates someone to jump from being just another wizard with a dark magic addiction, to a terrifying monster willing to turn the world upside down and leave it a gibbering wreck in their wake.

And quite frankly, this was the last straw.

He would not let this stand. He would not allow this. Not now. Not ever.

If it meant walking over the ashes of half of Britain, then he'd say let the world burn. If it meant killing the minister in cold blood, he'd be the first one to conjure a knife. If it meant becoming a worse monster than Voldemort could ever dream of being... Well, so be it.

* * *

_If Voldemort was a little smarter:_

"You thought I'd seriously try a killing curse? Again? I'm a Dark Lord, not stupid, and it worked out for me so well last time." He said sarcastically, before turning to his pet snake. "_§Kill§_"

* * *

_If Voldemort is a person preaching hatred and pureblood supremacy, what's his equal and opposite?_

I do not discriminate by race, parentage, skin colour, or house affiliation, whether a person's parents had magic, or whether they're even human at all. If that's not neutral, I don't know what is. That being said, I don't preach forgiveness of the guilty at the expense of the innocent either.

* * *

You, Dumbledore, claim to be of the 'light', when your policies and practises let the guilty, the dark, the rapists and murderers go free, while the innocent suffer at their hands time and again. Your professed aims are ineffective, because you serve to demonstrate that the worst of crimes justify nothing more than a slap on the wrist. I say let the punishment fit the crime, and suffer not the unrepentant their freedom to re-offend.

* * *

_The Real Reason Harry's not allowed to stay with Sirius:_

Sirius is an immature man-child, whom sees nothing wrong with trying to feed a fellow child to a werewolf - his friend - which would've resulted in his friend's execution. It could be argued, though, that his incarceration and prolonged exposure to Dementors has left him slightly unhinged in the aftermath, so any later actions may have mitigating circumstances. That's still no excuse for trying to feed Snape to Lupin.

_Another Sirius Idea_

No one would accuse Sirius of being overly religious. Oh, he went to church occasionally, but on the other hand, he had stolen a couple of times from the collection plate for beer money. Then there were those nuns he slept with, and that priest he set on fire for calling him a sinner, and that time he took a piss in the baptismal pool... And his deflowering that set of twins the night before they were to be married...

* * *

_And a point against all those Serevitus fics:_

Severus, on the other hand, is a petty, vindictive man that bullies and belittles children, abusing a position of authority, showing little or no empathy, employs poor teaching methods, and - most tellingly - would have cheerfully fed an innocent man to dementors. (By which I'm talking about Remus, more so than Sirius.) He was, after all, in the Shrieking Shack - under the invisibility cloak - while the background of the Marauders was being explained.

All else known, Severus was a Death Eater, unrepentant and unremorseful - until Lily Potter was a target - therefore it is highly likely that he was already aware that Peter Pettigrew was a fellow marked Death Eater.

* * *

_If Harry was a little less forgiving (TWT, second task):_

"Why do you have Mr. Krum's hostage, Mr Potter?"

"Wait, Krum's Hostage? Who was mine then? Don't get me wrong, Cho's attractive and all, but she's Cedric's girlfriend, and I'm afraid I've never met the blond girl."

Dumbledore frowned. "Your best friend, of course..." Harry simply looked puzzled. "Mr. Weasley."

Harry couldn't contain his mirth. After he finally stopped laughing, and gasping for breath, he exclaimed: "What?! I did rescue my best friend, the only one that stood by me. Ron's a lazy, jealous git who refused to believe me when I told him I didn't enter. You need to get a mind healer to check you out if you thought that Ron would be '_what you'll sorely miss_,'" Harry shook his head. "Fancy that, my Gillyweed's run out. And it was an hour's worth too. '_But past an hour – the prospect's black, Too late, it's gone, it won't come back._' and good riddance."


	2. Chapter 2 - The Obligatory Marriage Fic

Obligatory Marriage Fic I

"Let me get this straight... You want me, Harry Potter, the-man-who-won, last scion and Lord of not only the ancient and noble house of Potter, but also of Black, last descendent of the Peverell brothers of legend, heir to Godric Gryffindor himself, to take a permanent gender-bending potion... so that I can bear Malfoy's children?"

"Well... Yes."

"The arrogant blonde piss-stain of a disgrace to Slytherin house, with no guile nor cunning to speak of, who's catch-phrase and action of choice is to run whimpering to his father?"

"Yes."

"Even though I can claim the headship of four houses, and yet another through conquest, whereas he is heir to just one, and a lowly, disgraced house at that. To mimic his own bigoted parlance, why should I sully my noble blood and lauded, distinguished heritage with his befouled and infamous ichor?"

"Now see here, the Malfoy family-"

"The family of 'bad faith', as it translates in French, lost much of their influence and gold both, after the patriarch was found guilty of sucking the cock of an insane half-blood dark wizard with delusion of grandeur. Again. Why should I break off with my lovely fiance, my future Lady Potter, with the wedding date already set, to appease a disgraced family's wounded ego? Tell the Malfoy family that they're free to depart and engage in acts of self- and/or intra-familial fornication."

The solicitor was gaping. "But... the law..."

"I'll make this as simple as possible then. No, and tell the collective Malfoy family to go fuck themselves. If you try enfore this sham of a law, I will hex you. If you send aurors, I will hex them. If you send minister Shacklebolt him-fucking-self, I will hex him so thoroughly that you'll be looking for a new minister. And if I don't, my fiance, Hermione brightest-witch-of-her-age Granger will. You might recall her as being the one beside me as we killed the delusional fool that took the false moniker of 'Lord Voldemort'."

_Feel free to insert character of choice in Hermione's place, but I found that it worked for this snippet._

* * *

The standard 'Malfoy is a Male Veela' fic

"So... You're telling me that Draco Malfoy, the scion of the pureblood house of Mafloy... Isn't actually a pureblood?"

"What? No, he's a pureblood, but he's also a Veela."

"There are no Veela in the Black lineage, I should know, I've seen the tapestry, and Lucius Malfoy exhibits no signs of a Veela Heritage himself. So either Draco isn't a Malfoy, isn't a Black, or isn't a Veela."

* * *

"So... You're telling me that Draco Malfoy, the scion of the pureblood house of Malfoy... Is actually a girl? My apologies Ms. Malfoy, for my mistaken assumption. I do hope that my inadvertent insults, made from ignorance rather than malice, can one day be redeemed."

"What? No Scarhead, I'm a Male Veela."

Harry laughed. "You remember Fleur Delacour, right? You know, the known and confirmed Veela? I had a chance to talk to her about Veela over the summer Holidays, and there's no such thing as a male Veela."

* * *

"So... You're telling me that Draco Malfoy, the scion of the pureblood house of Mafloy... Is somehow, despite neither of his parents being one, a Male Veela..."

"Yes."

"And you want me to marry him."

"Yes."

"Even though I don't swing that way."

"Yes."

"And have hated Malfoy since day one."

"Yes."

"And that any such marriage would be a) in name only, and b) result in one of us in Azkaban and the other on a mortuary slab."

"Not so much."

* * *

_Well if one Veela can lay a claim, so can another..._

"So... You're telling me that Draco Malfoy, the scion of the pureblood house of Mafloy... Is somehow, despite neither of his parents being one, a Male Veela..."

"Yes."

"And you want me to marry him."

"Yes. You, my boy, are his Mate, and the law of creature inheritances decrees that you two will be wed."

"Ah. Thought we might run into a problem right about here."

"What problem?"

"You recall that creature inheritances require licensing through said races' authority, right?"

"We can do that on the day of the ceremony."

"No, what I'm saying is that you might have a bit of trouble getting that licence."

"And why might that be?"

"Well... Gabrielle Delacour... You know, small, blond, pulled out of a lake by yours truly... Veela... Got there first. Quite literally the only way for you to get a license would be for her to swear, of her own free will, without outside influence through spell, potion, or coercion, to renounce her prior claim on me."

* * *

"So... You're telling me that Draco Malfoy, the scion of the pureblood house of Mafloy... Is somehow, despite neither of his parents being one, a Male Veela..."

"Yes."

"And you want me to marry him."

"Yes. You, my boy, are his Mate, and the law of creature inheritances decrees that you too will be wed."

"Ah. Thought we might run into a problem right about here."

"What problem?"

"I can't be Draco's Mate. I've already been claimed as a Mate by another Veela. And quite frankly, I'd much prefer her to Draco." Without warning, Harry strode to the Floo. grabbing a handful of the emerald green powder. "Delacour Mansion. It's Harry. Tell Gabby that I accept."


End file.
